femifist

I could most certainly write 100,000 words about my experiences with alcohol, but I’ll save the pity party.  This blog is about my experience without alcohol.

I used to be the biggest drunk, a scary drunk, a drunk that blacks out and has amnesia.  After putting myself (and others) in many dangerous situations and nearly ruining my relationship, I finally quit drinking.  I had tried to quit a few times before that, but after a month of non-drinking, I would think that it was cool, I could handle it.  Five months ago, I quit-quit.

Here is my dilemma, it is really hard to meet people that have also given up the poison.  People that have never drank in their lives don’t count.  I need some good former lushes to hang with.  I am fine being around alcohol, but because I’m no longer looking down the barrel of a loaded bottle of Jack, I am unsatisfied in social situations that exist for the shear purpose of getting totally wasted.  I want late night diners, poetry readings, art, conversations, music.  I want to find others that are at this same point in life when the layers of hidden person can finally be exposed.  Am I asking too much?

AA is a crock of shit.  I am not powerless over alcohol.  I do not need to give my powerlessness up to a “higher power.”  I am in control of my own actions.  Yes, it is hard to do, but you can overcome addiction.  Could I pick up a beer and go back to being a lush?  Yes, of course.  I am predisposed to alcoholism.  That doesn’t make me powerless.  I’ve got alcoholics on both sides of my family.  I’ve experienced it first hand.  The cycle stops here…with me.

I attending one AA meeting.  I didn’t like the bullshit God stuff, but I did like that everyone was so open and accepting.  They gave me books with all the meetings they thought I would like.  They gave me their numbers and said if had the urge to drink, I could call them and talk about it.

I went to one Smart Recovery meeting.  It’s the same premise as AA, in the get clean sense, but without the God stuff.  The differences are that there are many types of addicts at these meetings (coke heads, pill heads, alcoholics…etc.) and people aren’t so inviting.

So how the fuck am I ever going to make non-drinking friends?

I created a meet-up for this reason.

http://www.meetup.com/The-Allston-Alcohol-Free-Meetup-Group/