femifist

I happened upon this website: 

http://www.feministsforlife.org/ 

I agree with the premise that “Women Deserve Better Than Abortion.”  Feminists for Life is a grassroots organization that believes in strengthening and creating more options for pregnant women, such as:  maternity leave, monetary resources, child care…etc.  The idea is that women won’t have to choose between their dreams and their potential for motherhood because they can have both.

I spent a long time navigating the site.  I watched three speakers on video.

The first speaker was an abortion survivor.  She spoke of all the “babies” “killed” from abortion and how she should have been one of them.  Then she went on to say all of the things that she had accomplished.  I feel like I should have found this touching, I am a crier, after all, but I simply felt nothing.

The second speaker was a woman who got pregnant as a result of rape.   She did not know if she was pregnant with her boyfriend or her rapist.  She wouldn’t find that out until the birth of the baby.

The third speaker got pregnant in college and started an organization to get better resources for mothers.

Okay, I am PRO-CHOICE, but I am not an ADVOCATE of abortion at all ( I don’t know any ‘Choicers that are–it’s a common misconception that “pro-choice” means “pro-abortion”).  I agreed with everything this organization said.  I definitely think we need better resources for women.  BUT, I did not see any mention of contraceptives on the website at all.  They are trying to help pregnant women with family planning and they are against abortion, but they aren’t actively promoting birth control????!!!!  What???!!!!

Here are some sites for you:

http://birth-controls.info/ 

Go here for information about birth control pills.

http://www.jollyjohns.com/ 

Go here for free condoms.

http://www.condomusa.com/ 

Go here for free condoms.

http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/FreeSample.aspx 

Go here for free condoms.

http://www.condomdepot.com/product/catalog.cfm/nid/185 

Go here to purchase female condoms as the condom industry is a bunch of sexist bastards and doesn’t offer free ones!

http://shopping.yahoo.com/s:Contraceptives:4492-Sales%20&%20Deals=Free%20Shipping:7605-Type=Spermicides 

Go here to purchase spermicides and gels.

Thoughts on this topic???

I like Thanksgiving in terms of family togetherness (no matter how dysfunctional) and the lack of gifts.  I think it’s important, not to mention healthy, to appreciate the things that we have and the people that we love.  But….Thanksgiving is based on the innocent slaughter/95% depopulation of Native Americans peoples.

The “first” Thanksgiving is described in children’s books and history classes as the “Indians” and Pilgrims getting together and having a feast in celebration of the plentiful harvest.  It’s simply not true.

Abraham Lincoln later named Thanksgiving a national holiday during the Civil War era.

Notice how Thanksgiving always falls on the last Thursday of every month rather than on a specific date?  That’s not an accident.  That gives us the whole month of December to splurge on Christmas gifts.  With the economy spiraling downward, we are still materialistic and greedy.  Why?

Recommended reading on this topic:  Lies My Teacher Told Me  By:  James W. Loewen

First of all, production company, Truth Serum, is a great place to start.  http://www.truthserum.org  Operated by the talented, Aliza Shapiro, Truth Serum is the best resource for looking for LGBT concerts, movies, and events.  I suggest that you sign up for the email newsletter and automatically get updates.

Bars and Restaurants:

1.  Club Cafe Lounge-

209 Columbus Avenue, Boston MA 02116. 617-536-0966

http://www.clubcafe.com/

2.  Fritz-a popular, predominately male, sports bar. 

http://www.fritzboston.com

3.  Ramrod Leather Bar

4.  Machine Night Club

5.  Boston Eagle-

520 Tremont St.

617-542-4494

6.  Dyke night the 4th Friday of every month at the Milky Way Lounge and Lanes in Jamiaca Plain.  This place is great, candle pin bowling, pool, music…etc.

http://www.dykenight.com/

7.  Queeraoke every Thursday night at Midway Cafe in Jamaica Plain.

http://www.midwaycafe.com/

8. Diesel Cafe in Somerville is an LGBT owned and operated coffee shop/diner. 

Resources (Found out where things are happening):

http://www.baywindows.com/ Boston’s LGBT newspaper

http://boston.about.com/od/glbt/a/GLBTgroups.htm Go here for a list of LGBT groups.

http://www.boston-online.com/Gay/ Boston online Gay and Lesbian page

http://www.gendercrash.com/community.shtml A safe space for ALL LGBT.  Check out their calendar for a list of events.

http://www.bagly.org/network/ Boston Alliance of Gay and Lesbian Youth  They host tons of events for teens, including an LGBT prom.

http://www.historyproject.org/about/about.php  This group seeks to preserve LGBT history in Boston.

http://www.bostonpride.org/ You can register to be a part of the parade, volunteer, or just get general events information.

So basically, there are tons of LGBT happenings all the time in Boston.  I haven’t had much time to check out many of the venues that I listed due to poverty and lack of free time.  I would love to hear your feedback (as always) on any of these bars, restaurants, or organizations. 

If you have a GLBT or feminist issue that you’d like me to blog about go ahead and leave a comment requesting it.  Thanks.

Facts About Teen Pregnancy:

1.  Three-quarters of a million teens between 15 and 19 become pregnant every year.

2.  The 82% of teen pregnacies are unintended.  Teen pregnancy accounts for 20% of all unplanned pregnancies each year.

3.  2/3 of pregnant teens are 18 or 19 years old.

4.  Teen mothers account for 11% of all US births annually.

5.  Of all teen pregnancies, only 57% end in birth and 14% end in miscarriage.

6.  Nearly a third of pregnant teens choose abortion.  Out of all teen pregnancies, 29% are terminated via abortion.

7.  African American teens have the highest pregnancy rate.  For teens ages 15-19, African Americans are the most likely to get pregnant (134 per 1,000 women); Hispanics (131 per 1,000); and non-Hispanic whites (48 per 1,000).

8.  Pregnant teens are less likely to attend college.

9.  Teen pregnancy rates in the US are higher than those in other developed countries.

10.  There was a decline in teen pregnancy rates between 1991 and 2005, but studies show they are on the rise again. In 1990, teen pregnancy rates were 116.9 per 1,000.  By 2002 there was a 36% drop in teen pregnancy rates.  There was a 3% increase in 2007 as reported by Centers for Disease Control in December 2007.

States With the Highest Teen Pregnancy rates (per 1,000 women):

1. Nevada (113)

2. Arizona (104)

3.  Mississippi (103)

4.  New Mexico (103)

5.  Texas (101)

6. Florida (97)

7.  California (96)

8.  Georgia (95)

9.  North Carolina (95)

10.  Arkansas (93)

Source:_{“U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics National and State Trends and Trends by Race and Ethnicity” Guttmacher Institute September 2006.}

So with the facts being established,  I’m curious if there is a coorelation between  states with the highest teen pregnancy rates and “Abstinence Only Sex Education.”  I attempted to conduct this research, but my findings were inconclusive.  It is, however; a fact that abstinence only text books were found to contain false information, are homophobic, and have not shown to be making much difference in teen pregnancy rates.

Personally, I am an advocate of “Comprehensive Sex Education” which teaches (age appropriate) information about STDs and contraceptives.  What do I consider “age appropriate?”  I think 7th grade is the best time to educate children with basic information about STD’s, pregnancy, and contraceptives. 

My school taught comprehensive sex ed.  I was very knowledgable about my body, STD’s, pregnancy, and contraceptives long before I was sexually active.  When I became sexually active with boys (at a much later age than all of my friends), I went with a friend to obtain birth control pills because I knew about them and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get pregnant.  So what does a teenager do that doesn’t know about birth control or condoms?  Raise a baby?  Have an abortion?

 I’m interested to hear your feedback on this topic.  Please leave comments.  Also include whether or not you had abstinence only sex ed at your school.

“I am also very proud to be a liberal. Why is that so terrible these days? The liberals were liberators—they fought slavery, fought for women to have the right to vote, fought against Hitler, Stalin, fought to end segregation, fought to end apartheid. Liberals put an end to child labor and they gave us the five day work week! What’s to be ashamed of?”
—Barbra Streisand

I am a self-proclaimed bleeding heart liberal.  With the recent election of Obama, I have been hearing more and more horrible things about the “leftists”.  I know someone who continually posts myspace bulletins and emails about Obama being the antichrist, Obama being Muslim, and “leftists” being Nazis.  It’s really disheartening.  I can’t help but wonder if she has anything better to do with her time.  Posting all these horrible, hateful, negative, racist things isn’t doing any good for community or country.  She could be volunteering her time to help someone in need;  she could be gathering belongings that are no longer used to donate to charity; she could be hosting a blood drive; she could be hosting a canned food drive;  she could be hosting a toy drive for needy children for the holidays; she could be picking up litter; she could be visiting elderly people in nursing homes who don’t have any family for the holidays;  she could be baking cookies for a neighbor;  she could be sending out letters just to let people know that she is thinking of them.  You readers may be wondering if I, myself, do these things and the answer is “yes, of course.” 

What is the religious right wing thinking?!!!  Jesus was a liberal, here’s proof taken from: http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/ My deepest apologies that the ends of the sentences are cut off.  I tried to fix it several times but to no avail.  For the complete list, please go to the website.

I’ve seen The Vagina Monologues in Pittsburgh, State College, PA, and San Antonio, TX.  I’ve also read the play. 

As a society, we’ve been taught that our vaginas are dirty, smelly, perverse places.  The Vagina Monologuesis a celebration of our bodies.  The monologues are generally performed on college campuses in recognition of Vday (a day dedicated to stopping violence against women).

Writer, Eve Ensler, traveled the country, collecting testamonials from women about, what else, their vaginas.  Women shared their biggest secrets, fears, and happinesses with her.  Thus, spawned the Monologues in 2001.

One woman shares a humorous account of society being against vagina’s via tampons, douches, and “cold duck lips” at the OBGYN.  Another woman frees herself of being politically correct and being unable to talk about her vagina by shouting the word “cunt” and asking the audience to do so as well. 

The Monologues has now been published and translated into over 24 different languages.  It is a cultural phenomenon.  Women want to talk about their vagina’s, openly, and without shame.  Ensler believes that a woman’s power is closely linked with her sexuality.

My experience as an audience member of the Monologues was very spiritual.  I laughed when older ladies described their vaginas as “down there.”  I cried when young girls were sexually assaulted and applauded when they came of age not blaming themselves, able to be sexual beings.  I highly recommend that you read and/or view the play.  Here is the official website for more info on Eve Ensler and how she started the vagina revolution:  http://www.randomhouse.com/features/ensler/vm/

Here’s the official Vday site:  http://newsite.vday.org/

To find out when the Monologues is coming to your city and buy tickets, go here: http://www.ticketmaster.com/artist/804437/

Where do we draw the line between discipline and child abuse? 

I am adamantly anti-spanking.  I believe that the abuse involved is physical and psychological.  It’s psychological because of the fear that the parent has planted inside the child’s head.  I would not want my child to live in fear of me.  I would not want my child to disrespect me and not trust me because I have disrespected and not trusted him or her.

Here are some legal definitions of child abuse:

Physical-hitting, burning, shaking, biting, beating..etc.

Emotional/psychological-constantly blaming, put downs, shaming, excessive yelling

Sexual-incest, forced sexual activity, exposure to sexual stimulation that is not age appropriate for the child

Neglect-a pattern of failure to supply child with food, clothing, shelter, medical care, affection, attention, and supervision.

According to federal law, physical discipline such as spanking or paddling is not considered child abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily harm to the child.   I have to say that I disagree with this law.  There is no way to chart a parent’s intentions, especially when the psychological aspect is also present.  Hitting a child, or anyone else for that matter, will never be acceptable to me.

Wondering what you can do to prevent or stop child abuse?  Visit this site-http://www.preventchildabuse.org/help/reach_out.shtml

Eating disorders are generally characterized by restricting food intake, purging, or binging in order to cope with feelings of worthlessness, lack of family communication, or low self-esteem.  Eating disorders are usually broken down into three categories: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Compulsive Overeating.

Anorexia Nervosa is characterized by the restriction of food and failure to maintain a normal body weight.  Anorexics experience body image distortions generally dealing with maturity or sexuality.  Most Anorexics focus on body parts such as the buttocks, hips, thighs, and breasts.  Any weight gain in these areas is interpreted as “fat” no matter how thin the person actually is.  In serious cases, compulsive exercise, laxative, and diuretic abuse are present.

Bulimia Nervosa is characterized by the consumption of many calories (binging) and then induced vomiting, known as purging, to rid oneself of the caloric intake.  Abuse of diuretics, laxatives, diet pills, and compulsive exercise are also present.  Like Anorexics, Bulimics are obsessed with body shape and weight.

Compulsive Overeating is characterized by binging.  Compulsive Overeaters may restrict eating in public and secretly binge in private.  Food is a coping mechanism that temporarily alleviates emotional distress, but binging is followed by feelings guilt and shame.  Compulsive Overeaters are also obsessed with weight.

All three are very dangerous and can be fatal if left untreated.

Statistics:

• 8 million Americans have eating disorders-7 million women and 1 million men
• 1 in 200 American women suffers from Anorexia
• 2 to 3 in 100 suffers from Bulimia
• 10-15% of people suffering from eating disorders are male
• eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any other mental illness
• only 30-40% of people with eating disorders recover, for the rest, it is fatal
• treatments for eating disorders in the US range from $500-$2,000 per day–a month of inpatient treatment can run around $30,000
• most health insurance companies do not cover the cost of eating disorder treatments
• 95% of people suffering from eating disorders are 12-25 years old
• 50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight
• 80% of 13 year olds have attempted to lose weight
• rates of minorities with eating disorders are similar to those of white women
• eating disorders are one of the most common mental illnesses facing women in Japan

Believe it or not, there are forums, groups, and ”Pro-ana” websites on the Internet where girls and women with eating disorders share their weightloss tips with one another.  This is not a support group to help them get better, but a justification of  self-destructive behaviors.  Here’s an example of one: http://community.livejournal.com/proanorexia

If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, please take it seriously, it is deadly.  This site can give you more information and help you find a treatment center in your area: http://www.eating-disorder.com/

Helping someone with an eating disorder, go here: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_treatment.htm

My best-friend is an eating disorder survivor and I know she would be more than happy to correspond with any of you that are suffering.  Please email me at thefemininepersuasion@yahoo.com if you’d like to be in contact with her.

I am writing this in response to an article entitled “Super Models VS Feminists” by: Suzanne MacNevin.  Go here to read the article: http://www.lilithgallery.com/feminist/fashion/Supermodels-Vs-Feminists.html

In “Supermodels VS Feminists,” MacNevin argues that supermodels are household names and feminists are obscure in our society today.  In her opening paragraph she refers to supermodels as “anoerexic bimbos.”  I was completely appalled.  There are so many pressures on women to meet unrealistic beauty standards and then to have a self-proclaimed “feminist” calling other women names in reference to physical appearance is hypocritical.  Aneorexia is a serious and common disease among young women.  It is not something to joke about or take lightly.  An assumption that a beautiful woman is a “bimbo” comes from a society that judges us based on looks, not from feminism.  How long have feminists been fighting to be characterized by our brains and abilities and not by our appearance?

MacNevin compiled a list of  supermodels and and a list of feminists.  I had only previously heard of a handful of the supermodels.  I do agree that Americans could recognize supermodels more quickly than famous feminists, but I disagree with MacNevin’s point of view.  As feminist activists we must find a way to change the institution first.  Prevention first.  We have to start instilling self-love in little girls when they are babies, infants, toddlers, preteens, adolescents even.  We have to teach them not to subscribe to popular culture because it’s bullshit.  We have to challenge them to think for themselves.  Supply and demand.  If society changes, the interest in supermodels decreases and the visability of supermodels decreases.  The frequency of eating disorders in young women may even decrease!

MacNevin asks “Where are all the famous feminists of today?”  It does seem like feminists started blending into the woodwork, doesn’t it? There is certainly still a need for feminism, but have our voices been stifled????  I believe the answer is a loud NO.  Below I have expanded on her list.  My additions are in red….just to name a few more as there are many.

Famous Feminists

Music:

http://books.google.com/books?q=list+of+feminist+politicians&ct=title&lr=&sa=N&start=0

http://www.amazon.com/Feminist-Science-Studies-New-Generation/dp/0415926963

I am a 27 year old, bisexual woman.  I live with my girlfriend, Sally, of nearly 3 years.  We met through a mutual friend in the south in January 2006 and moved to the east coast together in January 2007.

If soul mates exist, she is mine.  For the past 3 years, she has been my biggest supporter, my voice of reason.  She has comforted and carried me through many difficult times.  When finances permit, we fully intend on getting married.

I’ve been very fortunate to have a loving and supportive family who respects my relationship and wants me to be happy.

Proposition 8 is discrimination and it hurts me.  I love my girlfriend more than I’ve ever loved anyone.  We’ve had ups and downs, moved across the country together, been impoverished, shared finances, discussed marriage and children.  We are the same as any couple.  I would be devastated if anything ever happened to her, especially if I were not permitted to see her in the hospital or get an update of how she was progressing.  Most straight couples take this basic right for granted.  Take a moment and think of it’s importance. 

On that note, I will close by letting you bigots know that if you choose to dehumanize me and my LGBT brothers and sisters by not granting us the basic fundamental right of marrying the people that we love, there is no place for you in my world.  I don’t respect you because you don’t respect me.  You believe that my love isn’t good enough.  And I believe that you have no capacity for compassion or love in your cold, dead, heart.