femifist

Quit being greedy!!!  We all should be doing our part to make our communities better places to live!!! 

Here are some easy ways in which you can make a difference:

1.  Spend a few hours picking up trash in your neighborhood.  This is one of my favorite ways to volunteer.  I absolutely hate litter and I don’t have a shred of respect for anyone that litters.  All you need are trashbags and work gloves.  These are both sold at the Dollar Tree for a dollar a piece and the work gloves can be washed and reused.  An old broom and dustpan will also help. Note:  If you live in Boston and are interested in doing this, let me know in the form of a comment, and I will meet up with you.

2.  Beach Clean-Up-It’s getting a little cold for this one, but many of the beaches in Boston (especially Revere Beach) are disgusting.  People just have picnics and leave all of their trash behind.  Kids are there playing in trash.  It really is appalling.  Just grab a bag and some gloves and pick up the trash.  Same here, if you want to do a beach clean-up, let me know via comment, and I would love to help you out.

3.  Find a cause close to your heart and sign up as a regular volunteer.  You could volunteer as much or as little of your time as you’d like.  This is also a great way to gain experience in your particular field of interest.  Some examples would be:  animal shelter, battered women’s shelter, nursing home, soup kitchen, homeless shelter, Habitat for Humanity, LGBT youth centers…etc.  Just see what is available in your area and do it!

4.  Do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return.  Bake a loved one some cookies or shovel snow from a neighbor’s driveway.

5.  Clean out your closet and cabinets to donate clothing and food to someone in need.

6.  Run or walk in a charity race.  I recently did a 3 Day, 60 mile, breast cancer walk, raised over $2200 for the cause and had a great experience.

7.  Plant flowers, veggies, and trees.

8.  Get permission to clean up graffiti, by covering them with meaningful murals.

9.  Contact Legislators about issues that you care about.

These are just a few ideas to get you started.  Just donating a little of your time really does make a difference!

Raise your hand if you’ve seen the commercial with the “Have a Happy Period” theme? Were you at all disturbed by this?  It’s basically encouraging women to buy a particular brand of tampons because some money will be donated to a third world country so that girls can have access to tampons and attend school while they are menstruating.  Um…I would much rather women and girls be excused from school and work, for the first 2 days of our periods.  If you are a woman, you know what I’m talking about and there is nothing happy about it.  

When Hilary Clinton was in the running for the Democratic nominee (she was my pick), remember all of those cowards that were saying things like “We can’t have a woman president because she’ll be moody, bitchy, and PMSing all the time”?

It seems like every time a woman has an opinion, there is someone there, saying, “She must be ragging”. WTF!!!

What do you think about tampons coming in discreet packaging?  Is this really something that we should be embarrassed about?

I will elaborate more on this topic later, but for now, here’s some resources.  The more we talk about something, the less stigma is attached to it.

This website will help you keep track of your monthly cycle and let you know when to be expecting your period and when you are ovulating.

http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/trackingfaqs.jsp

The Museum of Menstruation–yes there really is one and I believe it is owned by a man:  http://www.mum.org/

The History of Menstrual Pads: 

http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~obsidian/clothpads/padhistory.html

I wasn’t always pro-choice.  In high school, I was very much anti-choice, but then I had a friend who was 15 years old and pregnant.  I was there when she took a pregnancy test.  I saw the horror in her eyes.  Her boyfriend was older and unemployed.  She chose to have an abortion and it was clear to me that this was the right thing to do.  She and her mother had to drive into a different city to get the surgery.  Her boyfriend did not respect her decision and the relationship ended.  Of course people at school found out and she was getting threatening calls on a daily basis and being called a “murderer” and a “baby killer.”  She is 26 now, does not have any children and graduated with a Master’s degree a few years ago.

Now let’s look at the flip-side.  Say she had gone through with the pregnancy, thus making her a mom at the age of 16.  She would be pregnant walking down the halls of school over-hearing snickers and  whispers of “slut” and “whore.”  Her deadbeat boyfriend would still be unemployed, shrink on his responsibilites, and ultimately leave her after the baby’s birth.  She wouldn’t see a dime of child-support because, hey, you can’t draw blood from a turnip.  She would probably rely on her parents to care for the infant until she finished high school.  Then she would move out on her own with her baby and a new boyfriend, buy a trailer, and live in poverty for the rest of her life.

This may not be the alternative story that you’ve witnessed, but believe me, this is the pattern in small-town West Virginia.

I do not believe that men should have abortion rights.  Puh-lease.  That’s just crazy talk.  Why should a man have control over my body?!  When men start having babies, they can have abortion rights.

Contrary to popular belief, pro-choice does NOT mean pro-abortion.  I am an advocate of birth control and condoms and if anti-choicers were actively promoting birth control, I would stand alongside them against abortion.  The reality though is that most of the anti-choicers that I’ve met are against birth control.  Does that make any sense at all???!!!!

And while I’m on my soapbox, abstinence only education does NOT work.  Kids need to be educated about their bodies and birth control.  Period.  Wouldn’t it make sense to prevent pregnancy rather than dealing with it after it’s already happened?

Today I just wanted to talk about Question 1 because the election is fast approaching and there are many people that do not have a clear understanding of what this entails.

Question 1 is a proposed law that would decrease Massachusetts state income tax to 2.65% starting January 1, 2009 and completely eliminate the state income tax starting January 1, 2010.

If you vote yes: you are voting to reduce state tax and then completely eliminate it.

If you vote no, you are voting to keep state tax the way that it is right now.

I understand that times are hard for everyone right now and the prospect of not having to pay state tax may sound like a good idea, but if this passes, here is what will happen:

1.  68,000 state employees could be laid-off

2.  police departments and public schools will lose funding

3.  roads and bridges won’t receive the up-keep required to keep them safe

4.  There will be limited health-care access for seniors and people with disabilities.

7.  There may be longer emergency room waits

Please vote “no” on your ballots.  With non-profit organizations/social service agencies recently taking a major budget cut, we can’t afford to take this chance.

So you are getting sick of not seeing a lot of LGBT representation in the media–here is a list that I’ve compiled to keep you busy for while.  Note:  I’m only reviewing the ones that I’ve actually seen or read.

Movies:

1.  “But I’m a Cheerleader”  This is a humorous depiction of the ridiculous notion that gay people can be trained to be straight.

2.  “All Over Me” is a coming of age drama about best friends and homophobia.  It features a young, Leisha Haley and has an awesome soundtrack.

3.  “Bound”–Gina Gershon plays a plumber who has  a relationship with a mobster’s wife.

4.  “Kissing Jessica Stein” If you like romantic comedies, you might like this one.  I personally thought it was kind of lame, but I was happy to see a mainstream movie about lesbians.

5.  “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”  I highly recommend this one!  It’s controversial and  graphic.  It’s about a transgendered singer.

6.  “Short Bus” Comes to you from the makers of Hedwig.  It’s about an underground sex club—very graphic.

7.  “Prey for Rock N Roll” stars Gina Gershon, a 40 year old, bisexual, rocker, who contemplates where her life is going from here.  I’d list it as a drama.  It’s a very good movie.

8.  “Broke Back Mountain” made me snore.  Before I watched it, I had heard awesome reviews from my LGBT and straight friends.  I absolutely hated it.  I was so bored that it took me 3 sittings to get through it.

9.  “Transamerica” is a great movie about a MTF tranny who gets a call from her juvenile delinquent son.  He is expected a male dad to show up.  The shit hits the fan when she reveals to him that she is his dad.

10.  “Boys Don’t Cry” is about a FTM transsexual.  It’s based on the true story of Brandon Teena.  This is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen in terms of illustrating the bigotry and hatred that transgendered people face.

11.  “Loving Annabelle”

12.  “Latter Days”

13.  “D.E.B.S.”

14.  “Beautiful Thing”

15.  “Trick”

16.  “Tipping the Velvet”

17.  “Big Eden”

18.  “Get Real”

19.  “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”

20.  “Angels in America”

21.  “When Night is Falling”

22.  “Fingersmiths” is a beautiful movie about 2 women that have been unknowingly interconnected since birth.  It’s a period film, with a clever twist.

23.  “When Night is Falling”

24.  “Torch Song Trilogy”

25.  “Desert Hearts”

26.  “Better Than Chocolate”

27.  “The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy”

28.  “Aimee & Jaguar”

29.  “Maurice”

30.  “Mambo Italiano”

31.  “Die Mommie Die”

32.  “Camp”

33.  “Saving Face”

34.  “The Birdcage”

35.  “Adam and Steve”

36.  “Edge of Seventeen”

37.  “The Sum of Us”

38.  “Fire”

39.  “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love”

40.  “It’s My Party”

41.  “Soldier’s Girl”

42.  “Rocky Horror Picture Show”  If you haven’t seen this, you are seriously out of the loop and I order you to go buy/rent/watch this right now!!!!

43.  “Gia” is about famous, lesbian, model, Gia (played by Angelina Jolie). 

44.  “The Boys in the Band”

45.  “Philadelphia”

46.  “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar”

47.  “High Art” is the story of 2 neighbors that end up falling for each other and then it turns heartbreaking—sex, drugs, and art.

48.  “Chutney Popcorn”

49.  “Ma Vie en Rose”

50.  “Jeffrey”

51.  “Heavenly Creatures”

52.  “Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss”

53.  “Gods and Monsters”

TV Shows:

1.  “The L-Word” is pretty much my favorite show in the world.  It’s the first mainstream television show to have a transgendered character; It represents women of color, white women, lesbians, bisexuals, straight women and men, deaf women, older women…etc; This is television though, so expect to see a bunch of stereotypically beautiful people and very few normal looking ones.  That would have to be the show’s only down fall.

2.  “Queer as Folk” is another show that I absolutely love. It takes place in Pittsburgh and follows the lives of several gay men and a lesbian couple they are friends with.  It’s not as diverse as the L-Word, but just as dramatic.  I’ve been renting these from the library to watch.

3.  “Will and Grace”is a sitcom about a straight woman and her gay friends.  It’s pretty funny, but not a favorite of mine.

4.  “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is a show about 5 guys (the fab five) giving the lives of average-Joe straight guys a major makeover.  

5.  “Transgeneration” follows 4 transgendered, college, students throughout the school year.  It is excellent.  I highly recommend this show!  

6.  “Ellen”

7.  “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” is a dating show, where bisexual, model, Tila, chooses the man or woman of her dreams.  Reality TV is, after all, a guilty pleasure of mine.

Magazines:

1.  “Curve” contains dating advice, DYI ideas, reviews of movies and music, interviews with celebrities, and other lesbian resources.

2.  “The Advocate”

Music:

1.  Scream Club–a favorite of mine…hip-hop/rap/electronic stuff….fun costumes, great live.

2.  Team Gina–another favorite…inspired by Scream Club…funny songs about being a lesbian and being from the 80’s.

3.  Le Tigre–yet another favorite–electronic with some punk vocals and lots dancing involved.

4.  The Men–jd and the chick (that isn’t Kathleen Hanna) from Le Tigre form a new band.  I haven’t heard them yet, but I’m way interested.

5.  Melissa Etheridge–snore

6.  k.d. Lang–snore

7.  The Murmurs–former band of Leisha Haley–cutesy alternative/pop

8.  Gush–another former band of Leisha Haley

9.  Uh Huh Her–current band of Leisha Haley

10.  The Butchies–love them, sort of punky/alternative/pop (it so damn hard to classify music)

11.  Melange Levone-She raps about issues like hate crimes, gay parenting, and domestic violence.  She’s very political and I’ve met her, she’s super nice in person.

12. Ani Defranco-popular bisexual, folk, artist.

13.  Tegan and Sarah–sweet music

14.  Linda Perry–former singer of alternative band, Four Non Blondes.  I haven’t actually heard her solo stuff.

15.  Pink-we all know Pink.

16.  Tracy Chapman-I’m not a huge fan of her stuff.  It’s bluesy and I have to be in a certain mood to be able to listen to it.

17.  Tribe 8–riot grrl sound…raw…good

18.  Athens Boys Choir-FTM tranny from Athens Georgia.  Using a laptop and a white movie screen, he raps about being from GA, being a tranny…etc.  He’s very funny and awesome live.

19.  Pet Shop Boys

20.  Sleater-Kinney–need no introduction.

21.  Green Day–yes, Billie Joe Armstrong IS bi.

22.  Sia-Listen to the song “Breathe me” and you will be hooked.

23.  Lesbians on Ecstasy

24.  Nicky Click–I like her stuff.  I saw her live with Scream Club and it was an awesome show.

25.  The Sounds

26.  The Gossip- Look them up right now!

27.  Indigo Girls-not into them, but I know a lot of people that are.

28.  Bessie Smith-old school blues

29.  The Moaners

30.  The Applicators

31.  The Cliks

32.  Joan Jett-equals my heart

33.  Boy George-duh

34.  Elton John-duh

35. Nirvana-Kurt Cobain identified as bisexual.

36.  Bikini Kill-an old favorite

37.  Betty Blowtorch

Okay, so these lists are VERY incomplete, but I just wanted to give you an idea of how many LGBT artists of all different venues are out there.  If you can think of more, please post as a comment.

I identify as a bisexual.  I have identified this way for many years.  I came out to myself at the young age of 10, to close friends at 16, to all but family at 18, and then finally to family at 25.  

There are a lot of misconceptions about bisexual people and I’d like to briefly disprove some of these myths.

First of all, bisexuality is defined as the sexual/emotional attraction to men, women, or perhaps transgendered people.  Actually engaging in sex with a person of either sex DOES NOT define a person’s sexuality.  Some bisexuals date and sleep with women, men, or neither, but still identify as bisexual.  For example, I came out as bisexual to myself at 10 years old, but did not date a woman until I was 25.

Bisexuals are not nymphomaniacs that have to simultaneously sleep with men and women.

Scientists have proven that different hormonal levels in the brain may effect sexuality, but some people still believe that sexuality is a choice that is affected by rejection of a parent.  Of course, I’m going with the scientific theory.  I’m sure that I was born bisexual.  My girlfriend is a lesbian and she is sure that she was born that way as well.  I do not know any LGBT person that claims to have chosen that fate.  I would not have chosen to be alienated, harassed, and threatened in middle school.

Most bisexuals do not have a 50/50 attraction to men and women.  Sometimes bisexuals are more attracted to one sex and sometimes the levels of attraction change over time.

People often make assumptions about one’s sexuality based on appearance.  Because there is no stereotypical bisexual look, there is always an assumption made that I am straight or lesbian.  Most often people assume that I’m straight.  Please get in the habit of not being presumptuous as it can be hurtful to people–even straight people.  Rather than asking someone “Do you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend if person appears to be male)?”–perhaps you could ask “Are you seeing anyone?”  Believe me, it will be less awkward for everyone.

Resources for bisexuals:

http://www.biresource.net/  (Boston)

http://www.rslevinson.com/gaylesissues/resources/glc_bisexual.htm

http://www.main.org/binetaustin/resources_other.html  (Austin)

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_refe.htm  (If you are looking for a gayfriendly church)

http://www.connexions.org/Links/Link210a.htm

http://www.ibiblio.org/cheryb/women/resource/lesbian-int.html

http://serf.org/~jon/soc.bi/faq/hotlist.html

http://www.babn.org/anythingthatmoves/resources.html

http://www.google.com/Top/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Bisexual/

http://www.einet.net/directory/61988/Bisexual.htm

Note:  I have a fascination with transgendered individuals because as a feminist I had always believed that gender was a social construct, but transgendered people alter this theory.  Are some attributes inherently male or female?  What effect does society have on “gendering?”

As a whole trannies are not represented in the media and are discriminated against more than any other minority.  This article is intended to educate.

Transgender is when an individual’s gender identity (if they see themselves as male or female) conflicts with behaviors socially accepted for that gender.

Sex and gender are different things.  Sex refers to biology (penis or vagina).  Gender is a way of interacting with others or feeling about ones-self in terms of what society deems appropriate for girls or boys.

Different, commonly confused, types of transgender:

1.  Transsexuals are transgendered people who wish to live full-time as a member of the opposite sex.  A female to male (FTM) transsexual is a person who was born with female parts, but lives as a man.  A male to female transsexual (FTM) is a person who was born with male parts, that lives a woman.  Many transsexuals decide to take hormones (Estrogen or Testosterone) and have gender reassignment surgery in order to make their bodies more congruent with their minds.

2.  Cross-dressers aka transvestites are people who choose to dress in clothing generally reserved for opposite sex for a variety of purposes: sexual arousal, for the fun of it, or because of feelings of a cross-gender identity.  The majority of cross-dressers are male and sexually attracted to woman.

3.  Drag Queens and Kings are people who dress in clothing reserved for the opposite sex for the purpose of performance and entertainment.  Acts may include singing, dancing, lip-syncing..etc.  Drag Queens and Kings may identify as transgender, but more often than not, they call themselves lesbian, gay, or bisexual.

4.  Other types of transgendered people are defined solely by the individual; such as gender queer, trans entities, or androgynous.  Some people use these or other alternative terms to describe themselves because they feel that gender as a concept, is restrictive.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are generally experienced as 2 different things.  A gender identity is the way an individual defines themselves; whereas, a sexual orientation is defined by a sexual attraction to men, women, both, or neither.

There is no way of knowing why a person is transgendered.  Some scientists believe that it is a result of different levels of hormones present in the brain.

I suggest that you do some research on your own.  I’ll get you started:

“Transgeneration” is a reality television show that follows the lives of several transgender college students, in different states, throughout a semester.  I was able to purchase the season on ITunes, but you can buy the season on DVD if you’d prefer.  It actually ends up being around the same cost.  http://www.sundancechannel.com/transgeneration/

“TransAmerica” is an independant film about a MTF transsexual and how she gets a call from her long, lost, juvenile delinquent son.  He is expecting his dad to be a man…I also got this one from ITunes. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407265/

“Boys Don’t Cry” is a movie based on the true story of (FTM) Brandon Teena.  Brandon (played by Hilary Swank) meets some new friends and is having a great time until they find out that he is biologically female.  I HIGHLY recommend this movie.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171804/

Why do I think you should learn about trannies?  Hatred and discrimination are a product of fear of that which we do not understand.

I am walking down the street when I see two young men approaching me.  I am gritting my teeth and mentally preparing for what I know is coming.  One of them says, “Hey baby, you lookin’ fine.”  I clinch my teeth more and silently pass by them.  Then the catcaller turns around and says “Your welcome” as if this was intended to be a compliment and I was being rude by not appropriately thanking him.

I am a woman and a victim of catcalls, which are indeed, a form of sexual harassment.  I’ve had old and young men shout at me in passing, from cars, building windows, and street corners.  If I respond with a “Fuck You,” they call me a “Bitch”–enraging and frustrating me even more.  If I do nothing, I feel powerless.  So…I’ve been searching the net for solutions to this timeless dilema.

Hollaback is an organization existing in several U.S. cities.  These women fight back by using cell phone cameras to catch sleaze bags in the act and then posting them on the Internet.  I haven’t had a chance to try this method, but I can only imagine the stunned look on the jerk’s face, when I’m holding up my camera with a smirk.  “Say cheeese!”  He certainly won’t be expecting that response!  Go here to check out the site: http://hollabackboston.blogspot.com/

I also found a myspace page, based out of New York City, called “Girls Against Catcalls.”  So, you can go here to check that one out as well:  http://www.myspace.com/girlsagainst

As far as comebacks, I’ve heard girls say things like “You make me wish I were gay.”  I’m sure that may have been a burn to that guy, but it’s not okay to use homophobic slurs or language.  We cannot fight against one oppressive force, by propelling another forward.  That is not progress.

I feel that we have to actively acknowledge that catcalls are not acceptable and we will not tolerate them any longer.  We can do this with words, eye contact, or taking a picture (my favorite method).  We need to do something other than ignoring it, because that hasn’t worked in the past and showing vulnerability is never going to work now.

I babysit for a 7 year old, little girl.  She is of average height and weight.  Last week we ate dinner together.  After dinner, she said that she really wanted a scoop of Reeses Cups ice cream, but wouldn’t have one because she was watching her weight.  I told her that she was beautiful and that 7 year olds should eat ice cream and NOT be dieting.  I was left with the guilt of an adult, a hypocrite.

The earliest age that I can recall being on a diet/feeling badly about my weight, is 9 or 10 years old.  I was not a chubby child and no one ever told me that I needed to lose weight, but I felt like I did.  It was something to take into consideration because I DID NOT want to end up fat.

Let’s brain-storm for a minute.  How do you young girls get the idea that they are not quite right?

Here are some examples:

1.  magazine’s targeted at teenaged girls but also read by younger girls (Seventeen, Teen People)  The focus of these magazine’s is generally physical appearance and how to win the attention of boys.  There are some articles about self-acceptance, but then on the next page there are super thin, scantily clad models.  It is a confusing double standard for girls.  As in, “I can love myself, if I am (fill in the blank),” rather than I will love myself the way that I am.  In the land of teenaged girls (and adult women for that matter) there is ALWAYS room for improvement.

2.  Television-Even on the Disney channel there are comments about so and so’s girlfriend being 300 lbs. or fat or some derogatory slur against fat people.  It is hard to find normal looking girls, who have a positive self-esteem, on prime time T.V.

3.  Toys geared towards girls: Bratz dolls, Barbie dolls–placing emphasis on physical appearance and not ability.

4.  Advertisements featuring extremely thin women, women as sexual objects, or women seeking to change their physical appearance with weightloss gimicks or surgeries. (Note: 5% of all plastic surgeries are performed on teenaged girls.)

5.  Adult female role models expressing distaste for their own appearance.

What can we do to stop this detrimental pattern of self-loathing that women have been passing down generation after generation?

I’ve come up with a few suggestions:

1.  Magazine’s that are better for little girls: Go here and find age appropriate materials.  http://feminist.org/research/zines.html

2.  Steer girls towards television shows and movies with strong, high-profile comedic or serious characters like: I Love Lucy, Murphy Brown, Mary Tyler Moore, Roseanne, Punky Brewster, Power Puff Girls, Golden Girls, Alias, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kim Possible, Xena, Ellen, The Cosby Show, Battlestar Galactica, Bones, Kate and Allie, That’s So Raven…etc.

3.  Books:  Go here: http://www.deebest.com This site has a list of empowering books for young girls and helpful tips on how to help our little ones develop healthy self-esteem by pointing out the truth about (airbrushing, hours of hair and make-up, only 5 % of women look like supermodels and 95% don’t) how women are depicted in the media.

4.  Listen-Studies have shown that girls are more often interrupted than boys.  Give her your undivided attention.  Teach girls to question everything and form their own opinions.  Often times, teachers give answers to girls, but expect boys to come up with their own answers.  Let’s change this!

5.  Put emphasis on her achievements, ideas, and values, not her appearance.

6.  Make her feel special.  Take the time to write up a list with her of all of her good qualities (not physical appearance) and achievements.  Hang this in a place where she and others will see it.

7.  Encourage girls to participate in activities traditionally reserved for boys and explore non-traditional ways of thinking.  Praise risk-taking.

It’s important for us, as adults, to help end these destructive patterns.  Remember, if you are not condemning these unrealistic standards and negative stereotypes, you are condoning them.